PALM BEACH GARDENS, FLORIDA — The Professional Golfers Association of America issued a public statement earlier today regarding Buffalo Trace’s new Double Eagle Very Rare bourbon, a rumored 20-year old whiskey announced late last week. In the statement, spokeswoman Chandra Ellingsworth said the PGA was aware of a new bourbon named after the most difficult feat in golf (shooting 3-under-par on a hole) and was interested in getting ahead of expected public interest and questions regarding the sport.
“Late Friday night we became aware of Double Eagle Very Rare by Twitter user @420blazeit69fart. The PGA believes this whiskey brings much needed attention to the plight of professional golfers tirelessly swinging clubs day in and day out in the hopes of wowing fans with such an achievement. From 1934 to 2016, there were twenty-seven aces during The Masters but only four double eagles, proving just how rare they are. We commend Buffalo Trace for bringing this issue to the forefront of whiskey culture.”
Rumors in bourbon circles speculate this may be a Buffalo Trace attempt at securing the sponsorship of the PGA Tour from Jim Beam Black. However, those rumors were quickly dispelled when Buffalo Trace announced another new release, Ancient Ancient Ancient Age, proving that their marketing team is just really lazy.