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MGP announces “tit has run dry,” will begin weaning craft distillers off their whiskey in spring

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LAWRENCEBURG, INDIANA — American whiskey giant MGP Ingredients announced earlier today that their “tit has run dry,” referring of course to their once endless stocks of rye and bourbon whiskey that craft distillers have suckled mercilessly for the last eight years. In the same announcement, media relations director Nancy Peterson said that the distillery will begin a gradual weaning process for those bottlers, blenders, and distillers currently addicted to “mother’s milk” in hopes they’ll switch over to their own distillate by 2020.

Our craft distillery correspondent Jade Goodard says these expectations are impractical. “Many craft distillers are still aggressively nursing the barrels they’ve already purchased and show no signs of wanting to stop. If MGP is truly as ‘dried up’ as they say, I expect these young companies will just find another source to get their fill. They’re addicted to this stuff.”

Early reports regarding the fallout of MGP’s announcement indicate that several distillers (including renowned bottler Smooth Ambler) have already switched to another source, Diageo-owned George Dickel. Goodard estimates that Dickel has enough mature-aged Tennessee whiskey to allow craft distillers to continue nursing for years to come. 

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