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New Riff distillery invited to sit at the KDA grown-ups’ table following single barrel debut

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NEWPORT, KENTUCKY — The Kentucky Distillers Association (KDA) announced today that New Riff distillery will be permitted to sit at the grown-ups’ table during KDA events going forward, as long as they “are on their best behavior and don’t go and act out like some young craft distiller.” The news follows the successful launch and generally positive reception of New Riff’s 4-year old single barrel bourbon (fairly priced at $49.99) in October 2018. In their invitation to New Riff, the KDA said that they have displayed significant maturity and have been especially well-behaved recently but there are still some reservations among KDA members. “We’re happy to see New Riff has grown into such a handsome young distillery who knows how to use their manners and do things the right way. However, they’re still pretty young and our more mature members are fairly skeptical they won’t display some young craft distiller behavior in the upcoming months,” the announcement read.

Our craft distillery reporter, Jade Goodard, got in touch with KDA representative Jeremy Richardson to clarify just exactly what they mean by ‘young craft distiller behavior’. “You know, selling a 2-year old whiskey for $130, sourcing someone else’s whiskey and not disclosing it on the label, not abiding by legal requirements to age-state their whiskey under 4-years old. Just stuff that makes you roll your eyes and think wow, this distiller is acting so immature right now. New Riff has so far not done any of this. We’re happy to have them at the table.” Richardson stated.

New Riff will be joined at the table by grown-up distillers Wild Turkey, Heaven Hill, Jim Beam, and Four Roses. Wilderness Trail distillery, who only recently secured a spot at the grown-ups’ table following their own successful bourbon release, is quite nervous about the KDA decision. “We’ve been good and on our best behavior. If New Riff comes in, acts up, and then gets sent back to the kid’s table, they might send us back too.” a source from Wilderness Trail said. Richardson reports that Jim Beam, KDA patriarch, will keep the young distillers in line by occasionally scowling and casting disapproving glances their way if they even try acting like some young craft distillers at his table.

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